"Your sexual preference for circumcised penises aside, the genitals you chose to have cosmetically, functionally, permanently and surgically altered belong to your son. He may grow up to have preferences different from yours. His future lovers may have preferences different from yours. Your husband's preference differed from yours. As a woman who has been fortunate to have both intact and circumcised lovers, I can assure you that my preferences differ from yours.

Key men in my life would also beg to differ; my partner thanked his mother for "letting him keep" his foreskin. My brother wishes that our parents had told the doctor to leave his alone. It pains me to think about how different his introduction to life outside the womb was from mine, and how I got to keep the body I was born with, but he did not. Circumcised boys will never know what it's like to have a whole sex organ. They will never experience the full range of pleasure they were meant to have, and are likely to lose sensation as they age. Countries with lower rates of circumcision have lower rates of ED. The sensitive glans, meant to be an internal organ and protected by the foreskin, grows calloused from years of rubbing against fabric, and the most sensitive areas of the penis, such as the frenulum, are amputated in circumcision.

As for wanting your son to fit in, a significant percentage of parents are now choosing to "bring their whole baby home," which means many of your son's peers will be au naturale. The stigma around having one's whole penis is fading - as well it should! Why should human bodies in their natural form garner distaste?

As for sexual health (which should be a non-issue for babies and little boys) I recommend that you examine the studies that show that the incidence of sexually transmitted infections is lower in circumcised men. The statistical methodology is flawed. In fact, the rates of HIV infection are higher in the United States, where more sexually active men are cut than in similarly developed regions where intact men are the majority, such as in Europe."

For the rest of the story, see Dr. Momma. If you are in the Houston area and want to know more about circumcision education, request to 'check out' my Circumcision Packet from the lending library.

Some of you may know Dr. Krenie Stowe. She has been a recipient of the Physician Award at BIRTH Fair for several years. She is a beloved pediatrician in the Houston area. She is a truly (truly) inspiring woman.

Krenie was diagnosed in February with stage two breast cancer. Soon after receiving her diagnosis she learned that her health insurance company would only cover a small fraction of the total cost of the treatment she would need, leaving her to pay tens of thousands of dollars out of pocket. If she had this sort of money, this wouldn't be as striking and terrible an irony as it is.

"A brief note about why I am not a 'rich doctor' for those who have not already figured it out. I financed all of my own education with grants and loans and I have huge educational debts. Most of the money owed, about 75% of it, is interest and penalties... After my residency, I worked for Indian Health Service in rural North Dakota for 2 1/2 years, then I came to Texas and founded and operated a non-profit, The Frontis Project, which delivered care to 11,500 kids and families for over 10 years.

Sometimes I was not paid at all and I was never paid a lot. No one was EVER refused care because they could not pay for it... I have always put healing first. I am not in 'business', I am in life and I live by caring for and loving those around me. Sometimes it pays the bills. Sometimes it does not."

Dr. Stowe went to Yale, then got her MD at Albert Einstein College of Medicine, and then her law degree from Harvard. She is brilliant and funny and, above all else, a tireless advocate for children and she has spent much of her life serving underprivileged populations, often working 12-14 hour days.

She had surgery a couple of weeks ago to remove the cancer but her bills are piling up and she begins chemotherapy in the next few weeks. As you can imagine, the financial burden is very stressful for her and her family.

A Facebook group page has been create (Fight for Krenie) to raise money for Krenie’s medical bills. If you would like to contribute to help Krenie pay her medical bills, click here. This Facebook group will share information concerning Krenie's health and progress and information related to fundraising (events, ways to participate, etc.) Please consider joining.

Have questions about when to cut the cord after birth?

Watch...



... and read

• The Cord and The Clamp
• A Cord of Three Strands

First I want to prelude, this is a Christian book. It is filled with scripture and prayer. So, be "forewarned".

"Parents are asking, "How can I control my children's behavior when they are being subjected to so many outside influences?". As reasonable as that question may seem, it's the wrong question. We should be asking, "How can I influence and win the heart of my child?""

And so begins Contending for the Heart. This book is not an instruction manual, and it's not a devotional. What it is is a collection of parent's stories and how Biblical application and prayerful consideration helped them to become better parents, and for their children's hearts to be changed, long-term, and for good.

Each chapter ends with discussion topics, which, in either a parenting relationship or a small group setting, encourages open dialog and communication.

The book is full of hard truths that resonate with the spirit and encourage you to take a discerning look at your own parenting styles. Jim talks about sacrifice of personal desires to make sure that the family is raised by Godly standards, not the worlds.

Additionally, Jim talks about transitioning from the Law to Grace. How a parent's influences and relationship with their children is a reflection of the relationship of God with His people. He talks about the age of accountability and leading by loving.

At first it made me mad.  I was headed out to scold them when the Lord brought a scripture to mind that made me laugh instead.  I Cor. 15:56 says in part, “the strength of sin is the law.”  If I had said nothing, the idea of building a fort in the window well would probably never have occurred to them.  It was such a powerful reminder to me of why we need to live under grace and not under the law.

There’s not a single one of us who can keep the laws of God.  Romans 3:19 says the law was given, “that every mouth may be stopped and all the world may become guilty before God.”  If we can’t keep God’s law, then how can we expect our children to keep our laws or rules?  That’s an important question that every parent needs to answer.  If you understand this, it will really help you transition your children from law to grace.

* I have to warn, he talks unabashedly, about Biblical spanking, so that might well upset my AP readers.

He doesn't sugarcoat the failings of many modern parents, and faults parents on their over-zealous, contradictory ways while also placing equal weight on a child's sin-nature. He speaks of the difference between a change of heart, and a compliant child. He discerns the difference between creating a home that is viewed as a refuge vs a cage, and how to raise our children to become capable adults.

Raising children is neither a science or a mathematical equation to be solved, it’s an art.   When your children are born, think of their hearts like a canvas, awaiting the brush strokes of an artist.  And God made no mistake when he chose you to be the artist of your child’s heart.

In one hand you hold the brush of unconditional love and responsibility.  In the other, a pallet of colors with names like words, actions, and deeds.  With these you are painting an image on the canvas of your child’s heart.  It’s an image of who God is and who your children are in relationship to Him.  And that image will, to a great degree, determine weather or not they ever fulfill their God given destiny.

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.” The word issues also means, boundaries and boarders.  You can see then that behaviors and habits are determined by the boundaries set in the heart.  It is not the external pressures or laws that constrain us or our children but what has been established in our heart.

The bible says it is the goodness of God that draws us and the love of God that constrains us.  That is why the image that we paint on the canvas or our children’s heart is so important.  Will our children see God as a harsh task master, judging every failure.  Will the see Him as a God of tolerance, or will they see Him as a living Father who wants to guide, guard, and govern for our benefit.?  It’s up to you, you’re the artist.

So, would I recommend this book to others? Yes. Hand's down. It challenges me as  a parent and as an individual. It encourages me to look in the mirror and make sure that I am reflecting Christ as best I can to my children in the short time I have them.

I have 6 copies to giveaway, and am keeping the giveaway open for the month, closing it on April 3rd at midnight, and announcing the winners on April 4th. 

Like I said, I have quite a few copies to give away, so the rules for entering are easy. Be sure, in each entry, to leave a way for me to contact you if you happen to win. You only have to complete the first one to be entered to win, but each additional step completed gives you an additional entry:

• Subscribe to the blog and let me know that you did in a comment.
• Post a link back to this blog entry on a social media site and let me know that you did in a comment.
  
• Visit their blog and tell me which blog post you really enjoyed and why.

Good luck!

Three beautiful birth videos I wanted to share:

Stacey & Cody's Homebirth 09/02/11 from Story-Frames on Vimeo.





Karla & Todd Birth Film from Story-Frames on Vimeo.



Nova's Birth Story from 31Films on Vimeo.
(this last one, by the way, has a local midwife in it whom I adore - Kellie Moeller

Do you remember my review and introduction to the BABEs?

Jessie was one of the mamas I worked with prenatally. She and her husband took childbirth classes with me and then asked me to stop over when labor got active. They are a delightful couple who have an adorable son. After birth, though, she encountered some breastfeeding hurdles that she wanted help with. She asked Leah and Misti to come over and help her and this is what she has to say -

"One of the most important things for any nursing mother is to have a great support team. Breastfeeding can be difficult at times and lots of new moms may find themselves giving up if they feel like they're alone when an issue arises. It's great to know that the ladies of Bay Area Breastfeeding and Education(BABE) are around.

I recently encountered problems with my newborn not being able to nurse properly. He was latching and unlatching multiple times during our 3 hour nursing sessions. Yes, 3 hours! Needless to say, I was starting to reach my wits end.

To make matters worse, I unexpectedly had to return to work full time. I decided to call BABE. They met with me in the comfort of my own home and started to assess the situation. It wasn't an easy fix, but their dedication to figuring out the problem was incredible.

They encouraged me through texts and phone calls while they searched for answers. I really liked how they gave me lots of information and supported me in making my own decisions to come up with a routine that worked for me.

They helped educate me on maintaining my milk supply while being away from my baby and gave me info on suck training exercises to improve the efficiency our nursing sessions while we're together.

I can't thank them enough for their support and dedication."

I know some of my readers think I am one of those crazy doulas that play with placentas and chant strange words while incense floats over my head.


Well, part of that is correct, I do play with placentas. I don't make it a practice of chanting or smoking incense, though.

If you have read me for any time now, you know what I am talking about, the practice of placenta encapsulation.

The placenta provides so many amazing benefits! I have written extensively on this subject on my 'other' blog, and encourage you to read up on it before running away from me in a panic.

• Lotus Birth – Sarah J Buckley’s Article
• Placenta Benefits - a great resource for placenta culture, benefits, and support
• Family Colvin had their sister encapsulate her placenta.
• Afterbirth, After Birth – an article on PPD and placentophagy
• Placenta Apothocary – a blog for all things placenta
• Placenta Remedy – a recipe and information on how to make a placenta tincture

By the way, I am so very happy to be offering many new placenta services beyond encapsulation, and two separate types of encapsulation to boot! In the event you are interested in learning more about it, take a look at my Placenta Services link and then contact me for more information. My doula clients get a discount up front, while clients of my sister-doulas in the Houston Doula Cooperative get a special Co-Op discount as well.

And finally, a testimonial from an awesome lady-friend and mama! She is a nurse who just had her second baby. Her first one she struggled with postpartum mood issues, and this is what she had to say about PE:

Increased energy and the possibility of preventing or helping with postpartum depression are the 2 reasons I decided to have my placenta encapsulated. Several women in my family have struggled with PPD and I had a hard time with the "baby blues" with #1 so I figured, why not? It's better than throwing it away, right?

Well, I have had more energy this time for sure and I haven't had ANY baby blues at all!! It has also been fantastic for my milk supply and my son gained 4 pounds and few 2 inches his first 6 weeks! Cole had my pills ready the evening of my sons birthday and delivered them to my house. If there is a next time we will use Cole again!

Recently I had a client, who I will call K, call me late one night. She was not the client I was expecting to hear from, just a few days earlier I had received her retainer for my services and I had another client who was 'overdue' and getting some labor action. I fully anticipated another woman on the other end of the line when I picked up the phone that evening.

Instead, I  heard K.

"Cole, I'm sitting on the toilet and I  have bloody water pouring out of me. What is this?"

I did a quick assessment by phone of the situation (what lead up to it, was there anything else coming out of her vagina, if there was any other sensations/physical things going on, and where was her partner/spouse) which took a total of 30 seconds.

"K, it sounds like your water has broken. Put a towel between your legs and go to the hospital; I will meet you there."

K was around 27 weeks.

There is a happy ending to the story - her baby was born healthy and strong, albeit via a truly emergency cesarean. If they had stayed home even minutes longer, K and her baby could very well not be with us today.

After this experience, I spoke to another online doula friend who offered to write a guest post on prematurity. Heidi Thaden-Pierce is an antepartum, birth, and postpartum doula, Happiest Baby on the Block instructor, and photographer.  She has a true heart to educate women on what to expect in a premature birth/baby, and warning signs. She, like myself, am wary of providers not sharing signs of premature labor early in pregnancy so that women can be on the look out for these symptoms.

I hope that you find something positive to take away from this post.

When we learned we were expecting for the first time we were overjoyed, and happily announced our news to everyone. We anticipated a smooth, full term birth and never imagined anything could go wrong. Unfortunately we miscarried early on, and suddenly pregnancy seemed much more fragile! When we became pregnant again we were already feeling anxious, so when I developed some concerning symptoms at 19 weeks we immediately called my OB. He was quite dismissive and encouraged me to just rest, but the symptoms didn't subside and we disregarded the doctor's advice and headed to the ER. I was contracting much too frequently but they explained it was so early in the pregnancy that if they could not stop the contractions there was nothing they could do to save our baby if he arrived. I spent the following month on medication and bed rest as we hoped and prayed for more time. We were thrilled to make it to 39 weeks and deliver a healthy baby boy.

Our next pregnancy went very smoothly until around 32 weeks, when once again I began to contract. Knowing the warning signs now of preterm labor we headed straight into the hospital. This time I had also begun dilating and again needed medication and bed rest to slow things down. We were grateful I made it to almost 38 weeks before our healthy baby girl arrived. Our fourth pregnancy ended in miscarriage, and we conceived again the following month. Because of our history we were understandably on edge! At 10 weeks gestation I developed some concerning symptoms and immediately called my new midwife. She saw me right away and then sent me for an ultrasound, which revealed the magnitude of the challenge we were about to face. The placenta was partially detaching and I was bleeding into my uterus. I spent the next 12 weeks on bed rest, moving into the hospital at 22 weeks gestation to be monitored more closely.

Throughout my three months on bed rest and then while living on the antepartum floor of the hospital I was given a list of symptoms I was to watch for and report immediately. We knew a premature arrival was inevitable, but we could not comprehend just how early our son would arrive! It was on a Saturday afternoon when I felt a strange pressure and cramping, along with an increase in contractions. I notified my nurse and I was quickly transported down to the labor & delivery unit where my perinatologist (a high risk specialist) caught up with us. It was apparent that we could no longer stall delivery and our son arrived at 23 weeks gestation weighing 22 ounces. Babies born this early are so fragile and tiny that survival is low and the chance of significant disability is high. This early in pregnancy most parents have just learned the gender of their child, and delivering is far from their mind! Unfortunately this also means they may not be aware of the early warning signs of premature birth, so they may delay receiving critical medical care.

It's now estimated that 1 out of 8 babies is born premature (prior to 37 weeks gestation) and many parents are not taught about the signs of preterm labor until their last month of pregnancy. Being aware of the potential signs can help ensure parents seek immediate medical care, as there are treatments which can sometimes help delay delivery. For a premature baby every single day in the womb can make a significant difference, so early education and intervention is crucial. While many people envision a premature baby arriving a few weeks early, not all parents realize preterm labor may begin in your second trimester! It is always better to call your care provider and ask about your symptoms, rather than ignoring them or waiting until your next appointment to ask. Better to call than to wish you had called!

What are some of the warning signs of preterm labor?

* Contractions every 10 minutes or more often in your third trimester. If in your second trimester then even 4 or more contractions an hour should be checked. When relaxed your uterus feels soft, like touching your cheek. When contracting your uterus will feel hard, like touching your forehead. In early pregnancy your body will be having practice contractions, but if they are coming more consistently, are causing you pain, or are lasting for more than 30 seconds it's cause for concern.

• Change in vaginal discharge: a sudden increase in fluid, a bloody show, or a thick mucous plug. Some mothers have a problem with leaking urine while pregnant, but if you are unsure if it's urine or amniotic fluid it's better to be checked than not! And I promise, you will NOT be the first mother to come in for an exam to rule out leaking fluid. They would rather it be urine than amniotic fluid so please don't be embarrassed!
• Pelvic pressure: especially in your third trimester you'll feel increasing pressure down low as the baby drops, but if you are concerned by the pressure or a sense of fullness, GET CHECKED.
• Low, dull backache: this is often a first indicator of labor, preterm or full term!
• Cramps that feel like your menstrual cycle.
• Abdominal cramps with or without diarrhea.

If your care provider doesn't bring up warning signs of preterm labor it's important that you start that discussion! Ask them in your second trimester (or earlier) what signs you should look for and what you should do in each case. Sometimes calling the doctor during office hours is enough, but other times every moment counts and you will need to get immediate medical attention - either calling 911 or heading straight to your closest ER.

As a doula I am NOT a medical care provider, and you should speak with your midwife or obstetrician about what is best for you. You can read more about prematurity at The March of Dimes site. I hope you will not ever need to know this information, but from firsthand experience I can say it's better to be aware!

While in the NICU with our son we were told a lost day in the womb equals approximately three days in the NICU. Every day counts towards your baby's development, and the sooner the signs of preterm labor are count the greater the likelihood your birth can be delayed and your baby can continue safely growing inside of you. If at any point in your pregnancy you feel concerned by symptoms, call your doctor or seek immediate medical care.

We are grateful that we were warned well in advance that our preemie would be arriving, allowing us to be in the right place when the time came. Against the odds our 23 week little boy survived and is thriving, but we wish so much that parents and babies could be spared the pain and trauma of such an early arrival. I hope this information will help another parent and baby avoid a premature birth.

The South Houston Doula Cooperative has a few events coming up in February.

• Houston Red Tent is a birth stories night. If you are pregnant and want to hear how women in Houston are giving birth or have already given birth and want to have a safe place to share your story, we hope to see you there!
• Birth Options Seminar is a 1-hour class to help you know your options for labor, birth, and postpartum. We will provide options, their risks and benefits, and help you to start writing a birth plan. We will also discuss what a birth plan is, what it is NOT, and how to facilitate open dialog/communication with your care provider.

Be sure to RSVP by clicking on the links and I hope to see you there!

"Doula! The Ultimate Birth Companion" is a new documentary film about birth and postpartum doulas. This 60 minute documentary film follows three birth doulas as they support women before, during and after birth and features actual footage of three doula-supported births.

It is a powerful, highly emotional film that shows doulas in action at the sharp end of life's greatest adventure! Please join us for this free screening.

When: Friday, March 23rd
Where: ACT Building, 2805 Wichita St. Houston, TX

Doors open at 6:30 and the film begins promptly at 7pm.

Afterward, we will have a panel of professionals and parents to discuss the benefits of doulas and their impact on the community.

We will have concessions to purchase and will be holding a silent auction to raise money for women who cannot afford doula services in the Houston area.

Click here to RSVP! We hope to see you there!